#incorrect bat fam quotes

[brokenstar28]

Palindrome

Tim: "Go hang a salami" backward is "I'm a lasagna hog" and that pleases me.

Damian: how did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to realize this?

Tim: Any time you're awake after 3am you fall into another dimension where the gods who never existed bestow upon you forbidden knowledge. 

Damian: The only thing that concerns me more than your first statement is that answer.

[blog-moved-lol]

I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

[fleur-dans-la-nuit]

Jason, to Bruce: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Dick, smirking: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I noticed that too

Bruce: …

Bruce: I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Tim: *Loudly sips tea from a bowl*

[lithiumseven]

[nocturnal-riptide]

Wayne family in a charity ball:

Tim: when did you get out of jail?

Jason: An hour ago, but I'm strongly considering robbing a bank to get back in.

[quotidian-oblivion]

Picture this: Ra's clears out the chessboard and brings out a deck of Cards Against Humanity.

"They say this game is only for the boldest, Detective. Think yourself brave?"

He pulls out the box.

Tim starts laughing so hard he cries and vomits.

Inspired by a conversation with @sardonic-sprite

[greeeengoblin]

Me :**AWW Everyone knows he is cute boy

Black Mask, Riddler, Deathstroke, Batman : Nah

Joker : Yeap

[kazbrekkeriselite]

Jason: I want to be like a caterpillar.  Damian : Explain.  Jason: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.  Dick: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?  Jason: Jason: That's just another highlight

[jupiterfallz]

Batsibling shenanigans 173

no one:

Duke, staring at jason: ..Dude are you okay-

jason: I can hear the seasonal depression starting to ring like mariah carrey’s whistle tones, help-

[wonder-girl-things]

Damian: If I made a list of people I want to eliminate, where would you rank?

Tim:Depends. Are we talking top ten or just top five?

Damian:I was thinking top one, but now I’ll try to reconsider.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

batfam admitting to minor crimes

Bruce: hi I’m Bruce Wayne I broke into the GCPD and put laxatives in all the coffee machines. they were being corrupt again…

Dick: hi I’m dick Grayson I changed out the chalk for itching powder in the Gotham city gymnastics club, no reason but it was so funny watching everyone just itch and fall off the bar lol. Also they were all part of a giant sex trafficking ring so who cares!

Jason: hi I’m Jason Todd, I gave all of Gotham’s cats including the big cats catnip and unleashed havoc upon the city because SeLiNa stole my fucking BIKE

Tim: hi I’m Timothy drake i created a phishing scam that stole most of gothams high ranking government officials information and ransomed it back to them or else. (Jason: what the fuck do you mean or else?) or else I release their search histories and chat logs MUHAHAHAHAHAH

Damian: Tt, i’m Damian al ghul Wayne, I stole all of the live fish from the iceberg lounge, many various dental offices, the GCPD and more. Not my fault their standards of care were abysmal.

Steph: ugh, I’m Stephanie brown. I trolled multiple white supremacy groups into believing that their “aryan” race was in fact fake bitchy shit, and that omegaverse was the better version and then they all cried when they learned what omegaverse was. It was glorious I also conducted a phishing scam and beat their faces in but you know!

Cass: I’m Cassandra Cain, I sabotaged my ballet trope’s grand opening because I had things that day, I broke all of the lights. Every single light in that stage, it was broken.

Duke: I pirated all of supernatural and all of my textbooks, I haven’t actually paid for tv or movies in 17 years. Yo ho ho!

Alfred: I broke multiple of my NDA’s and leaked all of that information anonymously on the interwebs people deserved to know.. (Dick: wait about what?) things..

Prev | current | next

[brokenstar28]

Never Have I Ever With The Batfam Dick: Never have I ever started a gang. *Jason and Duke put down a finger* Tim: Yeah that makes sense. Cass: Never have I ever... been Robin. *Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Duke, and Damian put down a finger* Damian: Does Thomas count? Jason: No. Dick, Tim, Steph, and Cass: Yes. Duke: Thanks guys... I think? Jason: Never have I ever not fought with Bruce. *No one puts down a finger* Jason: ... Really? Dick: Everyone here has fought with Bruce, Jay. It is a common activity. Tim: Never have I ever owned a pet. *Dick, Jason, and Damian put down a finger* Damian: Since when did Todd have a pet? Jason: Her name is Dog Dick:... Is she a dog? Jason: YES! Damian: I will help you name her later. Steph: Never have I ever killed someone. Sorry Cass but this is war. *Dick, Cass, Jason, Tim, and Damian put down a finger* Dick: Timmy... Jason: DICK WHAT DID YOU DO!!! Damian: Grayson killed the Joker. Jason: ...What? Damian: Tt are you deaf? Dick: Are we going to talk about Tim putting down a finger? Tim: No. Duke: Never have I ever NOT started a gang. *Dick, Cass, Tim, Steph, and Damian put down a finger* Dick: That is not fair! He stole my idea and reversed it! Damian: All is fair in war. Tim: isn't it- Damian: Shut up Drake. Jason: *Laughing uncontrollably* Losers! Damian: Never have I ever pranked Batman. *Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, and Duke put down a finger* Duke: He still does not know it was me so don't tell him. Jason: *Laughing uncontrollably* This is the best day ever! Steph: You're the one who turned the bat-mobile pink! I thought it was Jason! Dick: But... Dami you pranked ME when I was Batman. Damian: I have no idea what you are talking about. Cain and I are the only good children. *Cass smiling brighter than the sun*

Dick: all 5 fingers down

Cass: 2 fingers down

Jason: all 5 fingers down

Tim: 4 fingers down

Steph: only 3 fingers down...

Duke: 3 fingers down

Damian: 4 fingers down

Cass wins!

[blog-moved-lol]

Hey! Look! An overdone meme! Still fun to draw tho

[fleur-dans-la-nuit]

Damian: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Dick: Damian, no.

Jason: Mistlefoe.

Dick: Please stop encouraging him.

[lithiumseven]

[canthandlethishit]

Batfam’s handwriting headcanons!!

Alfred (right handed): cursive, normally neat and kind of flowery calligraphic(?) (he usually write the gala, party invitations for worthy guests himself), his notes are written just as neat but the letters are more narrow and tilted to the right.

Brucie (left handed): writes in cursive, bubbly letters, flowery, extravagant with endless numbers of loops and stems, big flourishes (picture light yagami writing) watching him write is a performance itself (near impossible to read, looks like an art piece from afar)

Bruce (self-trained ambidextrous, favors his left though is equally efficient with both hands): rounded print (for notes in reports), and cursive (for personal writings), he’d had some influence from alfred so theres a little extra in his writing like an extra curve, stem (ie: his i’s & t’s got lil hooks, his v as a downward stem at the end), but its overall quite minimalistic and tidy, there’s sufficient force on the paper.

Batman: doesn’t write >:( computer <- duh (if he really has to like idk the riddler forces him to write sth he would in caps block letters very strong straight lines, almost like excessively forced and he also place his pinkie on the pen/pencil to further deter identification, he switches hands every time to keep people off-track)

Dick (trained ambidextrous, favors his right, naturally right-handed until robin): cursive quick and kind of messy but still eligible writing, he’s used to taking quick notes (cop job), his letters are jaded, pointed (ie: his b’s are written like music notes, not rounded). he uses average force when writing (dents the paper but not through multiple pages), his letters’ spacing are nonexistent they overlap a bit, his words narrowly apart.

Jason (circumstantial ambidextrous, favors his right, his left handwriting is still neat, not as pretty as his right’s): cursive, his handwriting experienced several metamorphosis, he was left handed by birth & mother’s teachings, then at school he was taught write right-handedly. His writing was somewhat neat minimally scratchy, letters joined with loops, generous spacing. during his time with bruce he copies writing styles from his favorite authors (look up Jane Austen), Alfred and ends up with a very distinct, tilted to the right, beautiful scripture, some loops (Mary Shelly), long y’s and consonants. Post-death, he still got a nice handwriting, just less of the pizazz, the flare of personality bleeding through ink, its more tamed, still slanted, he doesn’t take as much care to force distribution (calligraphic way) but it just became more subtle, not completely gone.

Cass (ambidextrous, writes left handed): print, when first asked which hand she’d like to learn to write with she chose left, she didn’t learn to write ambidextrously. clean yet a bit weirdly spaced, she dots her i’s and cross her t’s after whole sentences. She likes making capital first letters of her text flowery like brucie’s, its amusing how out of place it looks.

Tim (self-trained ambidextrous, born left handed, writes with both hands interchangeably): cursive, young tim researched on lots of encryption, alternative writing systems. he take notes in shorthand’s, his handwriting is fairly eligible but frequently misses letters from words (ie: handwriting -> hdwritig). his lines are slanted downwards, narrow spacing overall.

Steph (trained ambidextrous, writes right handed, batman’s ambidexterity training for her hadn’t reached handwritings): mixed, her handwriting alternates between really messy and scratchy and more eligible curvy with sharp ends to her words (when writing lift pen up fast, bigger hand movement, picture a tame and hinged light yagami). Her lines tilt upwards from left to right. her writing’s eligibility depends on her mood, what she is writing.

Duke (right handed, trained ambidexterity but opted out of handwriting training): mixed, his letters are rounded and evenly spaced, fairly neat but scrawls when he’s in a rush (makes more sharp loops, longer curls at the ends, more connected words). his letter have thin loops, sometimes subconsciously dots his i’s with crescents. his lines tilt upwards slightly in the middle (he prefer to keep his lines straight so he take notice and fixes them).

Damian (natural ambidextrous, favors his left for arabic and his right for english): cursive, strong neat strokes, clean writing, clear appropriate spacing. its almost a font, print-like from how consistently he writes. His signature on his arts is more rounded with a bit of lilts and curves (the end of his m curve like the symbol for scorpio zodiac sign). His personal diary/journal writing is softer, his paragraphs more densely packed, the first letter of each entry are more ornate than the rest (loops, curves, tiny doodles)

note: handwriting style main variety are these

these headcanons are based on handwritings of people in my life & myself :)! not based on graphology (during my search for specific adjectives and vocabularies i came across some graphology & writing analysis articles and found them to be kind of mean & biased, rude etc so just clarifying im basing these hcs on my friends and family’s)